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It may be preumptious of me because I am no expert, but I thought that batteries only blow up if shorted for many minutes. Is it possible that something metallic has rested across your terminals? Could it be that you have had an ingress of water somewhere causing a major resistance and keeping the battery under load?
Have you tried jump-starting the car with a different battery? It is not unknown for new batteries to need charging when placed on load... without load they read 14/16 volts but with a load on the drop below what the car needs to turn the starter and feed the ignition.
From my modest knowledge, but I would check it out and give it a try.
Currently in vass20's garage:
Citroen Relay 2.2 HDi + Citroen C4 1.6 HDi EGS