For sheer crappiness? 1983 MkIII Escort 1.3L. 4 speed too, and featuring that dog of an engine that was the CVH (the tuners loved it, but I always asserted that was because so little of its potential was realised on the stock engine.) A friend of mine had a 1.3 Kadett. It would wipe the floor with the Escort, though it did tend to spray
out of the top of the engine
For ultimate sheds? My first car, a 1979 Audi 100 GL5E. 2144cc's and K-Jetronic Injection should have made it go like the proverbial compared with most contemporaries, and indeed it was pretty quick off the mark. But the 3 speed auto box meant you were doing 5K rpm at 90mph and you'd have red-lined it at 110. In any case, take it past 70 and it'd run from MAX to MIN on the dipstick in less than 100 miles. I never did get to the bottom of that
leak (yes, I know, bikers must have hated me.)
The driver's door didn't open (you had to climb in through the passenger side) and the handbrake had detached from the bodywork from one too many handbrake turns on the works gravel car park. I started running it into the ground when a friend's dad mucked up one of the CV joints and I found that the replacement part from Audi was worth more than the car and scrap ones were like rocking horse muck.
Oh those were the days. I have fond memories of getting involved in an argument with the guy at Halfords because I wanted five spark plugs