And there's more!!
It has four legs and it can fly, what is it?
12. What do you get when you wake up on a workday and realize you ran out of coffee?
What bow is it impossible to tie?
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a woman?
No idea, but the cleaning has become seriously efficient.
How does a monkey ring the doorbell?
King Kong! King Kong!
Do you know what were my grandpa’s last words before he kicked the bucket?
How far do you think I can kick this here bucket?
A horse goes in a bar.
"Why such a long face?"
“In our traditional farm hotel, you are woken by the call of the cockerel!”
“Very good, please tell him 9 o’clock.”
Two toothpicks are waiting at the traffic light when a hedgehog comes by. They look at him silently and then one toothpick says to the other, "Huh, so there's even buses..."
A guy calls 911, absolutely frantic. “Send an ambulance, quick, my wife is having a baby!!”
“OK, I understand. Is this her first baby?”
“No you stupid woman!!! This is her husband Bill!!!”
How can you tell you have an elephant in your bedroom?
By the big "E" on his pyjamas.
What is small, grey and triangular?
The shadow of a green triangle!
A detective asks a woman, "So, your husband hanged himself?" Woman replies, "Yes, that is correct." The suspicious detective continues, "But why does he have all those bruises on his head?"
"The old fool used an elastic rope!"
What does a hippie say to a horse?
Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?
Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.
Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?
Man: No, I’m a barber.
How to measure a snake?
In inches. Snakes don’t have feet.
Why did the elephant wear green socks?
Because the red ones were wet.
Why did the elephant swim on his back?
So his green ones wouldn't get wet too.
What is cold and vital for peeing?
At the movies: “Sorry we’re all sold out down to the last place.” “Excellent, I’ll have the last place then.”
What is a cannibal’s natural first choice in a restaurant?
Why is our nose right in the middle of our face?
Well, it is the scenter.