Right, I'm probably going to be really thick here but not to worry!
Just checked that the sidelight wasn't working, then put the card right in the slot,started the engine and turned the lights on. No warning flashed up anywhere. I don't have the voice synthesiser button as shown in the handbook but it's got built-in satnav so I turned the volume up on that in case that was where the voice came from, but still nothing when I switched the lights on. Where is the little button with the face and semi-circles? I'm would be starting to think the car hasn't got this feature but an Audi mechanic who I got to do a little job for me last year told me I had a rear light bulb blown as it had flashed up a warning. Like I say, I'm starting to feel like a right thicko!!