A blonde pregnant teenager phones her dad after midnight "Can you come and get me, I think my waters have broken."
"OK" says her dad "Where are you ringing from?"
"From my knickers to my feet" she says.
"What's your Dads occupation? asked the teacher.
" He's a magician miss," said the new boy.
"How interesting. What's his favourite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Gosh! now next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two half sisters."
A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their *****. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. "Mom", the boy asks, "What's a pussy?"
The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says...
A teacher asks the class to find out what their mothers do.
Johnny goes home, his mum isn't around so he asks his dad.
The next day the teacher asks little Johnny what his mum does.
He replied, 'What she's [email protected]!king told.'
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours - green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring...
my daughter has a renalt clio dynamique 16v 1149cc 2003 you are driving along when all of a sudden u lose power to about 15 mph and light in middle of dashboard comes on when you turn power off sometimes car goes back to normal sometimes it does'nt i have had it hooked up to computer which said...
I have a son who drives a Clio Dynamique DCi80 ans a daughter who drives a Clio Dynamique DCi65, the DCi80 we have had in the family for 6 yrs and the DCi65 bought a couple of months ago.
I am looking forward to learning more about how we can keep these cars running with the...
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail...
Brett is eighteen, and having passed his driving test he goes to Dad for the big question.
"Dad, can I drive the Lamborghini?"
"My brand new Lamborghini? Blimey!" Dad rubs his chin in thought. "Can your c*ck touch your b*m, Brett?"
"No, not really."
"Well, when it does, come back and ask me."
Hi guys, Im new to the forum and I found it very interesting, there are so many fixs and people that really love their rides.... it's nice to be here... :d
Im starting to play around the manteinance of my dad's Megane, so a days ago I decided to takea whole day to clean its motor up :o... It...
My dad is addicted to smoking since last 20 years, earlier it didn’t had much effect but now when he is 50+ his cough level has considerably increased. He is also willing to quit smoking, but he always ended up smoking again. Can anyone help me find a proper guide or procedure to quit smoking...
One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until you do your chores."
A little pi""ed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks...
Hiya guys and girls. My Step Dad has got snags with his Rover 214. Before all the jokes come out this car is ace, it has lasted me years then i gave it to him when i got the Megane. Normally don't have any problems with it but, hey, it all comes around in the end.
Anyway. I have posted on the...
A couple arrive home to their 5-bedroom house in a leafy suburb. Upon entering the house, they call out for their eldest daughter, whose 18th birthday it was that day. The expected answer did not come, so the father went upstairs. He knocked and entered his daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on...
This afternoon, my 9 yr old daughter won the Cornwall County Schools Cross Country race.
She won a series of qualifiers during the winter and qualified to represent the"district council" in the County Final today.
Over a demanding hilly 1500metre course, ( it is demanding for 9 yr olds) 70 yr5...