lady

Not one of your Ruskie Ladies running about on the pitch at the Tottenham v Liverpool match was it Stu?>:)>:)>:):surprise:

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today' The bartender says 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is...

She's probably going kill me now:grin2: But I just wanted to say happy birthday to a lovely person and let her know how appreciated she is on here, and more importantly as a person/friend .. I know it's a day late Heather but I hope you had a great day:x:x:x

Renault clio 2008 was casually driving and smoke started coming from the steering wheel/where the keys go so I pulled over. Then tried to carry on to car park and smoke was bellowing out so had to get towed by a lovely member or the public. I got a mechanic out and he replaced the "stalks" but...

"I'm going to Thailand in the summer." "To Bangkok?" "Well, it'd have to be a good-looking ladyboy, :wink2:but maybe."

District Attorney: Would you please state your age to the court for the record? Little Old Lady: I am 86-years-old. DA: Will you tell us in your own words what happened on the night in question? LOL: I was sitting on my porch swing on a warm spring evening, when a young man sits down beside...

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic bin bags,one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags and once in a while a £20 note flies out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her. "Madam, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag..."...

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young...

Hi, im looking for some advice and help about a problem my laguna has. about 2 months ago our renault laguna 2005 1.9 expression dci ( i think thats what it is) started to cut out while driving with the warning light saying injection fault. The car is running fine, no lack of speed or...

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on, eat it all up or ... I'll have to give it to this nice man here." Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so...

Lady Interviewer: Do you drink every day? Man: Yes. Lady Interviewer: How much a day? Man: Around 3 six-packs starting at noon. Lady Interviewer: How much does a 6-pack cost? Man: Roughly $10.00 at a deli. Lady Interviewer: And how long have you been drinking like that? Man: 15 years. Lady...

An old lady goes into the pet shop and says to the assistant. "How much are the dogs?" "€150, madam" "Oh merciful hour, that's terrible expensive, and the cats?" "€80, madam" "Mother of Divine God, still too much, what about the mice?" "€10 madam" "Oh Sacred Heart, that's still too much for an...

Hi I hope you can help. My auxilary bet broke on my Laguna Priliege dci M2 2001 car. I had this fixed and was told the source was a bad pulley. He mentioned an odd grinding noise after just starting the engine which he wasnt happy about but it wouldnt do it when he tried to show me. Anyway...

Typical! ...the new Margaret Thatcher movie the IRON LADY has been classified "pg"...apparently its not suitable for miners...

Hi Guys and girls Happy New Year I really am lost both with what's going on with my car and on this site, I hope I have posted in the right place and that someone can help me out I really know very little about cars, so this problem has got me tearing my hair out and no one I know can figure...

A lady is taking Golf lessons. She started her round and was instantly stung by a bee. She went back to the clubhouse for help. Her coach asked why she was back so early. She told him of the sting. 'Where did it sting you ?' he asked 'Between the 1st and 2nd hole' she said 'Ah' he said '...

A guy goes out on the town. He goes round his usual haunts, and in one he sees an absolutely stunning Chinese girl. He sidles over to her, playing it cool, and offers to buy her a drink, which to his surprise and delight, she accepts. One drink follows another, and the pair become very...

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woopsie, and prays that a sales person...

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a bar in Clayton, England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "what man here will buy a lady a drink"? The bar went silent as the patrons tried to...

Nowthen All I forgot to mention in my last post of a weird symbol on the dash display of my Dti 1999 laguna 1 it is in orange in centre of display. It shows what looks like an estate car with a person with a lolipop stick at the rear tailgate what is it? and what does it indicate.