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  1. Renault Laguna 2 - Engine Management Light On

    Engines
    Living in the middle of nowhere my recently purchased (private sale) Sports Tourer 03, 1.9 DCi started but sounded non too healthy. Accelarator did nothing! Element light with warning light appeared on dash. Since told it is an ECU problem & I should "remove & send it away"!?!? Is this even...
  2. Fast lady

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one. Traffic Cop: Don't have one? Older Woman: No. I lost...
  3. lady bird book not safe for work

    Jokes & funny stuff
    ive not seen this book before :rolleyes:
  4. Old Lady

    Jokes & funny stuff
    I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over. :p
  5. Renault - Espace - help lady in distress

    Cars & motoring
    i have just put my renault espase in for a m.o.t .came back as a failure hand break needs tightening up how do i do this?also nearside suspension joint needs doing and idle speed running high and low when ticking over where do i start can anybody help:confused:
  6. One for the Lady's A male stripper

    Jokes & funny stuff
    :p
  7. Little old lady

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young...
  8. An Easter bunny for the Lady's

    Jokes & funny stuff
    One For the Lady's for Easter :) Lot's of Lady's will be hoping to get a Rabbit for Easter :rolleyes:
  9. Please help a lady in distress!!!

    Electronics
    HI, I have a laguna 02 1.9 DCI today my wonderful husband changed a broken brake light bulb, washed and hoovered my car and noe it wont work. When i put in the key the dashboard is flashing, the engine will not start, the radio comes on the lights come on it locks and unlocks but I cant go...
  10. Can someone PLEASE help a lady in distress?

    Electronics
    I have a 2002 (52 plate) Renault Megane Scenic Fidji. I have had terrible problems recently with the coil packs and have had them all replaced over the course of a few months :steam: . However, the dreaded "orange light" is back on and in addition to this it is drinking petrol like a fish and...
  11. Old Lady Goes To Heaven!!

    Jokes & funny stuff
    An old lady dies and goes to heaven.She's chatting to St Peter when suddenly she hears blood curdling screams." Dont worry about that" says St Peter "its only someone having holes put into her shoulder blades for her wings".The old lady looks uncomfortable but carries on with the...
  12. From Ladette to Lady

    General Chat
    If you're not watching this programme now, go and turn your TV over to it - its fabulous!! The scouser is class - you'll know what i mean if you watch it :rofl: :rofl:
  13. The little old lady's defence

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a...
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