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life

  1. Life

    Jokes & funny stuff
    On the first day, God created the dog and said; “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years." ... The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the...
  2. Laguna 3 no sign of life

    Electronics
    Hi there. New at this forum. Bought a Laguna 3 2008 2.0 DCI and the reverse lights weren't working. Bought a new light switch online and a friend of mine who had the tools, took the battery off changed the switch and putted back on. Now the car at the battery area somewhere, makes a weird kind...
  3. Koleos Life - Siri is incredibly fuzzy and hard to hear

    Electronics
    Hi guys I'm using my iPhone in my new (2017) Koleos Life - the base model here in Australia. Whether I'm on Bluetooth or plugged in, when I press the "voice" button on the steering wheel, Siri is incredibly fuzzy and "low-fi" sounding when she talks. Strangely, when I use Apple navigation (or...
  4. Bluetooth dropouts - 2017 Koleos Life

    Electronics
    Hi guys I've just purchased a Renault Koleos 2017 model as a demo car here in Australia. It's beautiful! I'm having some problems with the Bluetooth feature for music streaming. Once or twice in every song, the Bluetooth skips - the sound doesn't stop but it skips forward or backwards by about...
  5. Mid life crisis??

    My mottah!
    My husband has had a c1 on a lease for nearly 2 years. Not the most desirable car but it's been reliable, cheap to run and no bother. It's time to hand it back and he has been looking at getting another one but all of a sudden changed his mind. Out with the c1 and in with an A4!
  6. Hazards of Seagoing Life

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Hazards of Seagoing Life ON THE DANGERS OF PILOTS, SIGNALS, APPRENTICES AND STRANGE HARBOURS NOTE - This article is from the August 28, 1982 issue of the Galveston Daily News, Galveston, Texas. It was brought to our attention by Kent Halversen of Boyer Towing...
  7. Spicing up sex life.

    Jokes & funny stuff
    My neighbours decided they needed to do something to spice it up. So they agreed to exchange surprise presents to do so. She bought a set of risqué lingerie to brighten things up in the bedroom. He bought her a year's subscription to weight watchers. Doctors say he should be eating solids soon >:)
  8. Freedom of speech (on the forum and in life) - PLEASE READ

    General Chat
    Send me a PM then, due to lack of freedom of speech
  9. Grand scenic 1.9dci no life

    Engines
    Hi have a grand scenic with cambelt slipped a few teeth sized engine. I took the battery off to charge put it back on a couple weeks later and although the car will unlock and lock in key fob there is no other sighns of life at all no dash lights imobileser light interior light nothing at all...
  10. Head lights, rear lights and inside lights living own life, Scenic 1 **Fixed**

    Electronics
    Hi, i got a big problem with my scenic 1 ph2, 2000 model. I bought the car 5 years ago, and it has always turned on the rear fog light when i reverse or brake. Thought it was supposed to be like this. But now 5 years later i found out it was a fault, after i had more electrical...
  11. How long should a battery last

    Electronics
    There is quite a lot of discussion here relating to battery problems, usually when the battery is already seven or eight years old. So.... I would be interested to learn..... how long should a car battery last. I have owned around 20 cars, some new, some old, but I have never had a battery last...
  12. Guy Martin Passion For Life

    General Chat
    Think this might interest a few folks
  13. Life or death situation

    Jokes & funny stuff
    > > > >Scenario: > > > >You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side >is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling >at the same speed as you. > > > >In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as >your car and you cannot overtake it. > > >...
  14. Renault Scenic II 1.9 dCi 2006 buzzing sound and battery life

    Engines
    Hi guys! On my 2006 Scenic II 1.9 dCi I have the following questions. I have this little buzzing sound coming from the passenger rear side of the car. At night I can hear it starts buzzing all of the sudden. Sometimes I shake the car and sometimes i unlock the car and open and close some doors...
  15. F4 (16v) engine life cycle

    Engines
    How much one can count F4 engine to last, mileage and years - keeping mind oils and filters and power train is kept as expected in good condition? I know that injectors may have air leaks, but that most likely doesn't break the engine.
  16. Last day of life

    Jokes & funny stuff
    All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life. The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was...
  17. How to live a long life

    Jokes & funny stuff
    A tough old cowboy from southern texas counselled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning. The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died. She left behind 14 children, 30...
  18. Cambelt Shelf life

    Engines
    Hello, was just curious as to age identifiers and shelf life on belts. I've just bought a Gates kit (tensioner & cam belt) the box has a copyright date of 2011, but nothing else on it. Gates belts according to their website can be stored for 8 years before use, just wondering if anyone knew how...
  19. Purpose in Life

    General Chat
    Can anyone tell me the purpose of the resonator on the air filter/ intake pipe Renault Laguna 2?:confused:
  20. Little Johnny's life goal

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class (8-9 year olds): "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says: "I wanna be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, get me the finest *****, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion...
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