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retirement

  1. How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of sanity in retirement

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Sanity in Retirement How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of sanity in retirement 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars...watch 'em Slow Down! 2. On all your check stubs, write 'For Marijuana'! 3. Skip down the street Rather Than...
  2. Retirement

    Jokes & funny stuff
    An elderly couple was at home watching TV. Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For god's sake Phil, leave it on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"
  3. Raikkonen hints at retirement after Ferrari

    Formula 1 news
    http://www.formula1.com/news/headlines/2014/7/16026.htmlKimi Raikkonen has indicated that he is likely to step away from Formula One racing when his current contract with Ferrari expires at the end of the 2015 season Raikkonen, 34, signed a two-year deal with the Italian team - with whom he...
  4. The retirement home.

    Jokes & funny stuff
    The children took their father to the retirement home for the day to see if he would like it there. So he was sitting on a chair watching the TV with the other residents. Suddenly he started to lean to the right. A nurse came and straitened him upright. Shortly he started to lean to the left...
  5. Schumacher announces Formula One retirement

    Formula 1 news
    http://www.formula1.com/news/headlines/2012/10/13863.htmlMichael Schumacher is to call time on his Formula One career at the end of the 2012 season. Schumacher, who originally retired in 2006 before returning to the sport with Mercedes in 2010, announced the news at Suzuka on Thursday. "I have...
  6. Retirement

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Retirement … One day a man decided to retire... He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about...
  7. Loris Capirossi Announces Retirement

    Bikes news
    After 22 seasons of racing in the various GP catergories,Loris Capirossi has today announced that he will retire at the end of this season..... http://www.motorcyclenews.com/MCN/sport/sportresults/MotoGP/2011/September/sep0111-loris-capirossi-announces-retirement-in-misano He's had a terrible...
  8. Semi Retirement Project!!

    Other makes
    OK so I am now looking for something to do now that the dreaded house renovation works are completed ( praise the Lord ). I'm looking primarily for something which would be relatively cheap and have been tempted to do either a Rover 75, or an MG MGF ( I can hear the gasps now). Used to...
  9. Early Retirement

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People...
  10. A well planned retirement

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were for cars (£1.40), for buses (about £7.00).. Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just...
  11. Retirement bonus

    Jokes & funny stuff
    RETIREMENT BONUS If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired! The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line...
  12. Retirement to Alaska

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of...
  13. Can this be what retirement's all about? I'm scared if it is!

    General Chat
    Hi all. As I type this, I'm watching a neighbour (retired) powerwash his driveway (after having swept it with a brush & dustpan first). This is the same person whose garden is 'picture-perfect' (I kid you not), and last week was up a ladder - powerwashing the exterior walls of his house...
  14. Retirement.

    Jokes & funny stuff
    After retiring,i went to the Social Security Office to apply for Social Security.The woman behind the counter asked me for my drivers licence to verify my age.I looked in my pockets and realized i had left my wallet at home.I told the woman that i was sorry,but i would have to go home and come...
  15. Is anyone approaching retirement?

    Jokes & funny stuff
    I got this in an email, probably because I'm approaching that age (but I'm already retired). I've now decided to fix the twin diesels and take up fishing... or not, as the case may be. Dear ABBI When I finally retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass...
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