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  1. Woman Drivers

    Jokes & funny stuff
    This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my right and there was a Woman In a brand new VW Golf !! Doing 110km/hr. With her face up next to her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner! I looked away For a couple seconds And when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane, Still...
  2. Important things in a woman

    Jokes & funny stuff
    It's important to have a woman who can share the household duties with you, cook or clean at times. It's important to have a woman who can make you proud when you go out with her, who can make you laugh and socialise in any situation. It's important to have a woman who you love looking at...
  3. Never argue with a woman

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Never Argue with a Woman One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up...
  4. I love this woman

    Jokes & funny stuff
    An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes...
  5. Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With 25 Caliber Pistol!

    Jokes & funny stuff
    This is a story of self-control and marksmanship with an "itsy bitsy shooter" by a woman facing a fierce predator. What is the smallest calibre you trust to protect yourself? Here's her story: While out hiking in Alberta Canada with my husband we were surprised by a huge grizzly bear...
  6. Polish woman

    Jokes & funny stuff
    A very pretty Polish woman married an American gentleman born in Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his home town. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries...
  7. Taking a woman to bed

    Jokes & funny stuff
    What is the difference between girls/women aged 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78? ************************************************************************* ********** At 8 You take her to bed and tell her a story...
  8. Confused woman driver

    Electronics
    Hi All, new to the site and trying to figure out how to change the time on my Megane
  9. How To Tell a Woman's Age

    Jokes & funny stuff
    A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends £15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am." "About...
  10. Older woman on a cruise

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Amazing how your values change as you age! I LOVE THIS WOMAN An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.. I do not intend to be forward but did you...
  11. Woman's medical

    Jokes & funny stuff
    During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says:- "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Don't remove...
  12. The older woman

    Jokes & funny stuff
    THE OLDER WOMAN I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked OK for a 61 year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter...
  13. No woman, no drive.

    Jokes & funny stuff
    A wee bit of topical fun.
  14. Woman golfers

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman...
  15. This is a woman's work

    YouTube
    Having heard it recently on the radio, I was searching for Cher's new housewives favourite background vacuuming,ironing,cooking song "This is a womans work". All I could find were some Kate Bush references and this guy who must have had an accident when he was younger. Doesnt sound the same...
  16. A woman and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig."

    Jokes & funny stuff
    A woman and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig." A woman and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig." The woman says, "That's not a pig, that's a duck." He says, "I was talking to the duck." :eek::eek:
  17. Paddy the Boxer

    Jokes & funny stuff
    Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Paddy, you realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.” Paddy says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”
  18. A woman's and a man's poem

    Jokes & funny stuff
    SENIORS IN ARIZONA Where it is sunny & wonderful! We live longer & have young ideas! Getting old in Arizona Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Yuma doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'***65533; The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.' The first old...
  19. A woman's and a man's poem

    Jokes & funny stuff
    A WOMAN'S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. ... One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won't be...
  20. Woman sues hospital

    Jokes & funny stuff
    A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke's Hospital, saying that, after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr Maynard was actually admitted in Ophthalmology - all we...
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