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Premium Member
2,542 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
David Cameron is visiting a Glasgow hospital.

He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness,

He greets one.

The patient replies:

Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm.

Cameron is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.

The next patient responds:

Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit.

Even more confused he just grins and moves onto the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:

Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,
O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle

Now seriously troubled, Cameron turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, 'Is this a psychiatric ward?' No, replies the doctor, this is the serious Burns unit

Premium Member
1,854 Posts
With apologies to real Scots~:

Aem Burns an' aem a Scotsman
Aem sailin outa Leith,
Aem nae tee gid a sailor,
S' why I'm ****ing thru' mah teeth.
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